Skip navigation

Category Archives: pessimism

Pessimist: A person who expects the worst.

For years, probably since my teen years, I had this attitude that if I expected failure, I would never be let down. What a terrible place to live. There were tons of things I didn’t pour much (if any) effort into because of that expectation of failure. If you let that attitude shape your life, it can ruin it.

At 17 and directly out of High School I was enrolled in college and dropped out before I finished my first semester. A while later I enrolled at another university closer to home, made it through a few semesters, and quit again. It took three attempts at furthering my education before I finally stuck with it (and much support from my wife…yeah…this was years later).

It even took a few times of trying to get Christ in my life before I really dedicated myself. I was afraid to really ask Him into my life because I was afraid that I’d fail and disappoint Him. When I finally asked Christ into my life it was only after I realized that I didn’t have to perfect first. In fact I didn’t realize this until my wife coerced me into going to church, and I heard the worship team sing these words: “A thousand times I’ve failed, still your mercy remains”. Those words worked on me for a while, and I was tired of failing. A lot of things in my life seemed to be going wrong, and I knew that I couldn’t make it any longer without some sort of hope.

Hope is what I got. I realized that things wouldn’t always go wrong, and even when they did, it wasn’t “the end of the world”. This isn’t to say that I don’t have bad days and I don’t chicken out. There have been a few years since I finally chose hope over doubt. Some days I still hold back and don’t take the chances that I know I should. However there are certainly more days now that I’m reminded that even when I think I’ve failed, God still loves me. Keep trying even if the odds seem to be stacked against you. There is purpose even in our perceived failures. Romans 8:28 (NIV): “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Not that it really needs any proving, but I am living proof of the truth in that verse. How’s that? If I hadn’t “failed” at my two attempts at going to college, I would not have moved back in with my parents, met my wife and made it to church only to hear the message that God could love a “failure” like me.